it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
