fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize