I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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