i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i drank out of a bidet.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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