if only i could text you this smell
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Alive.
So much puke
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Randomize
