i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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