I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
