that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
