There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
