Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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