Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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