everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
