Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
