I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
