just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
And then he peed in my hair
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
