I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
