We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Sober January is a disaster.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
