I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
then he tried to convert me to islam
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
