I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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