I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
