Do you still have your period?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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