The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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