You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
