Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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