Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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