it's like iHOP with fire
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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