He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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