Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize