i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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