I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
