turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
