we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
