I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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