But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
