Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If I die, sorry about rent.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
