so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
