Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
