White coat. Heels.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
