that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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