I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I need to calm my uterus...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
