I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Did I show you my penis last night?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
