Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
