do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
