I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
