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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I wanna come home

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  And do what?

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.

  Fav 4 2765 928

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood

  (540): View more from Virginia

  pics

  (757): View more from Virginia

  no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles

  Fav 6 2201 1067

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide

  Fav 19 1033 4057

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?

  Fav 33 1504 12797

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town

  Fav 39 7081 1185

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.

  Fav 15 2096 4866

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.

  Fav 16 6029 1733

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.

  Fav 11 4960 1544

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave

  Fav 10 3165 1269

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.

  Fav 7 1939 857

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He does that

  Fav 4 2883 1078

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.

  Fav 10 1355 747

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.

  Fav 1 226 139

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  He passed out in my car.

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  What's the problem?

  (217): View more from Illinois

  HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!

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