I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
