I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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