there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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