she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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