I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
