there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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