weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
