Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
