Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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