look no pants
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
