You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
