Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
