so that wasnt chicken after all
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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