Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
