I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
