About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
